letters of the nonsensical variety

Dear Postman, at first I started to think you had forgotten about my J. Crew jeans when my package was noticeably absent, but you greatly impressed me by stuffing them into my little apartment mailbox instead. You, sir, deserve a gold star in packing efficiency and should probably hold a seminar on how to properly pack a carry-on so as best to avoid airline charges. Dear Mr. Huxley, I know I praised you in high school for a job well done on Brave New World, but really, job well done. After recently reading it again, I still freak out about the world to come. But don't worry, I shall bring God and Shakespeare with me. Probably more God than Shakespeare though (I gotta be honest). Dear Sarah, thanks for reassuring me after I read BNW that I was just feeling the "the weight" on my shoulders, and that this too will pass. Dear Modern Family, thank you for understanding what I meant about parents & kids being friends when Claire asked Haley on a date. You get me every time. I especially loved the analogy: "Raising a kid is like sending a rocket ship to the moon. You spend the early years in constant contact and then one day, around the teenage years, they go around the dark side and they're gone. All you can do is wait for that faint signal that says they're coming back." Hey parents, I'm baaaaackkk! Dear weather, you befuddle me. Yesterday was delightfully cool. Perfect running conditions. Dare I say it, spring weather-like? Today, we're getting our first "real" snow of the season. In March. Are you hormonal? Let's work on that. Dear first week back of running, I both love and hate you. Thank you for reminding me that I am woefully out of shape. When a woman three times my age zoomed past me on the trail, I finally got it. Dear husmate, your enthusiasm for learning something new is quite possibly the cutest thing. ever. When your books came in the mail the other day, you would have thought it was Christmas morning. I can't wait to see you really get into your new skill. :) Also, Michael Buble is the cheesiest. I apologize that my Avett/Mumford love makes me skeptical of your acceptance of Buble. Let's work on that, shall we?